A Beginner's Guide to Establishing A Sabbath
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.”—Exodus 20:8
As I began to slowly ease back into life at home again, started some new daily restful routines, I found things did start to get better. Because I was aiming to get more sleep, I felt more rested. When I felt rested, I was less prone to get angry. The tone in our home changed.
As I began to make my relationship with God a priority again, my heart also began to change. I was more aware of the temptation to be God. I recognized the moments of choice more quickly. I prayed for help sooner.
All these little things had macro effects in my life. But still I needed more. The little sips of rest were not enough. What I needed was a deeper infusion.
What I needed was a weekly Sabbath.
The Resistance
You would think that after tasting these sips of grace, I would be keen to explore a weekly Sabbath rest (which I define here as a 24-hour period where I cease from my regular work in order to rest with the Lord and others). But I wasn’t.
There were several reasons.
Practical: I still had too much to do. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if I took a full day off every week—not just for myself but for my kids too. Their commitments didn’t stop even if I wanted to rest.
Philosophical: I thought Sabbath observance was not necessary for us on this side of the cross. I reasoned that it was part of the law—and we are now under the gospel of grace, right?
Relational: I was afraid of what others would think of me if I took a day off. Would they think I was lazy? Self-righteous? I didn’t want to look different than all my other busy friends.
So I shelved the idea of a weekly Sabbath for years. I agreed it was a nice idea, in theory.—but a luxury I could not afford.
But I was wrong.
The Challenge
Over time, after my original retreat, I came across things that challenged each of my areas of resistance.
Practical: When will I never have too much to do? With a houseful of people with multiple schedules in addition to my own, waiting for things to slow down so I could rest would not happen. Do I really want another episode of mom burnout to realize that? No thank you.
Philosophical: Was it really optional for us now? After all, it is one of the Ten Commandments—and we haven’t disregarded the others. While the smaller rules of Sabbath law may not apply, the overarching commandment, like all the others, may still be binding.
Relational: Why did I care more about what people thought of me than what God thought of me? Who am I truly trying to please? Instead of being considered lazy, what if God wanted me to experience rest and encourage them to try it too?
I had to be really honest with myself. I wanted to be in control. In my limited understanding, I based my decisions on what I experienced. I wasn’t living by faith. Surely, God wouldn’t have made the Sabbath such a priority if it is was harmful.
The challenge for me, then, became one of faith. It wasn’t about time or busyness or even whether it was something we should do now on this side of the cross. Do I believe God’s heart and trust He is for our good when it came to the idea of Sabbath rest?
The Change
Finally, I thought “enough is enough!” I needed to take a step of faith. So I made it my goal to try practicing my first Sabbath.
My First Attempt
For my first Sabbath, I worked right up to the very last minute. Not a good idea. I actually went to bed later than usual, trying to squeeze everything in so I felt a bit out of sorts. But on the positive side: I did stop working.
I spent some time with the Lord first thing, so that was good. But if I was honest, I kept thinking about all the things I wasn’t doing. I felt a bit empty, not working.
But that’s a good thing because it was God’s way of helping me realize how “addicted” to work I was. In fact, that’s one good way to find out if we’re addicted to anything—watch how I feel and respond when I don’t have said addiction.
Like an addict, the first Sabbath “detox” didn’t feel great. In fact, it was a bit miserable. I didn’t enjoy it a whole lot. When those first 24 hours were over, I felt relieved.
Learning and Trying Again
After that first experiment, I asked myself: Would I do that again? I tallied the good things: it was nice to have a day that was less structured. I enjoyed restful time with my family. I liked not being in a rush.
All right, I told myself. I’ve done it once. Let’s try it again. This time, I’ll adjust how I prepare for the week.
So the next week, I started doing a little more thinking. What were some things I would do differently? When would I need to stop work the night before? Is there something fun I could do—something that didn’t involve any electronic devices?
Commit for a Month
As you can see, this was not a one-and-done event. Because this is unnatural for me, I just had to start, even under imperfect conditions. Thankfully, God is gracious. He knows I would not be good at this right away either.
This was humbling to realize (as I like to think I’m good at everything). The addiction to constant work is hard to break. So after the second week, though it was better, I knew I had a long way to go. At that point, I committed to aiming for a month of weekends.
Four times. I can make that commitment to learn a new habit. I’ve already tried twice. I can do two more.
That was in 2017. After the fourth time, I began to realize that the Sabbath was truly good. And then I was all in.
The Benefits
There have been so many benefits I have noticed since starting this rhythm. Here are a few.
A time to enjoy God without rushing. I can rest in Him, letting the sediment of my soul settle so I can receive the full benefits of this deeper rest.
Time to enjoy people in community. Sabbath is not meant to be a private rhythm but a communal one. Like being with God, I found the space to be with people in a leisurely manner was also refreshing.
Protection from despair. With a weekly Sabbath to look forward to, I didn’t slip into the despair I felt when I looked at my full life and all its demands. There was an oasis coming—and soon! Though it didn’t prevent discouragement, the regular rhythm of a Sabbath gave me the opportunity I needed to address those things that would have otherwise poisoned my heart.
I work differently. Because I want to be able to enjoy my Sabbath without work hanging overhead, I don’t fritter my time away the rest of the week so easily. I plan my work. I do my work.
The Wrestling Doesn’t End
Despite the benefits, however, I will be honest. Every week, I still wrestle with the temptation to keep working through my rest. That is the nature of life here: there will always be something more to finish.
But what I have noticed is that every time I do, I am presented with a choice: will I give in to the temptation to believe the Sabbath is a luxury I earn or a gift I receive? Is it something I humbly accept as a human with limits or do I pridefully plow through and then collapse or believe I have earned a license for self-indulgence?
I share this because I don’t want to give the impression that it is easy for me. It will always be a struggle on this side of heaven. But I am changing: making this choice is easier than it once was.
We cannot expect to be instantly changed in this area. But even change towards seeing Sabbath as a blessing, having a positive perspective towards rest—that is change too. Over time, I am trusting that this internal change will help me to act in faith externally as well.
Plan the Day
So one of the ways that has helped me is to be intentional with planning the day, sometimes even as I am planning for my work week on Sunday evening. This reminds me that after I work hard this week, there is something good that awaits. I want to enjoy that time without things hanging over my head so it motivates me to work hard over the next few days.
Here are some things I learned:
Start the Sabbath the night before. Choose a time to “shut down” your work and devices. Include a special meal with friends and family to kick off your Sabbath celebration. Enjoy leisurely activities to help you unwind, like games, good books, or a fun family movie.
Make worship services my first priority on my day of rest. This orients my heart towards God. Get ready for this the night before too—set out clothes, Bibles, diaper bags, a simple breakfast, etc. in advance. If you’ve got kids, let them help here!
If possible, let yourself wake up naturally, without an alarm clock. If you think you’ll need some external help, then set the alarm for a time that will allow you to get ready at a leisurely pace. Try not to wake up at the last minute but plan in margin and space to go through the morning routine without the stress of scrambling around.
Get to church on time, or even early, if at all possible. Instead of rushing in just in time for the sermon, aim to get there in time for the opening worship set. This helps set the tone for the service. It’s not just about getting something for your mind.
Plan something restful for after the service, depending on what that would be for you. If you’re doing this weekly, you can rotate! Consider time to enjoy extended time with God to reflect on the sermon or journal, lunch with a family after church, take a nap, or enjoy a hobby. The Sabbath is a day for God’s good gifts.
Close your Sabbath with time to plan your transition back to work. I generally like to plan my week at the end of my Sabbath—it’s not there yet but I’m starting to think about what is ahead—including plans for the next week’s rest. Then I have something to look forward to at the end of the upcoming work week!
Sabbath in Community
What I quickly noticed, however, was that it felt odd for me to enjoy a Sabbath when the rest of my family (namely my husband, who was a pastor) didn’t. I wanted this to be something we could celebrate together. Even if you are single, this weekly rest is meant to be enjoyed in community.
This topic probably deserves a post of its own, but for now, let me highlight a few things:
If you’re single, consider how you might be able to enjoy your Sabbath with others. They can be other singles or you might wish to get to know families in your church congregation.
If you’re newly married, this is a good time to start establishing this rhythm in your marriage, without needing to also figure out how to do this with the additional schedule of your children. Take advantage of this season of your life to develop a restful spot in your week together.
If you’ve got kids under age 5, consider their more limited routines a blessing and take advantage of their nap schedules and short attention spans. Play in the park. Get an ice cream. Nap when they do. You may certainly need to modify your expectations, as you cannot “take a break” from the care of young kids, but think of other ways to find rest with your kids, especially if you work the rest of the week.
If you’ve got school-age children, consider how your busy schedule or constantly being on the go impacts them. Are they able to enjoy the simple pleasures of play or the fun of family time or are their days (and weekends) so full that they get bored if there isn’t something “fun” to do? In your desire to give them rich opportunities, are they depending on them or can they find ways to enjoy some downtime?
If you’ve got teens, Ruth Haley Barton, in her book Embracing Rhythms of Work and Rest, cautions against forcing your busy kids to join you in your Sabbath. Rather, share your personal conviction to honor the day and how that might change your participation in weekend activities. Take time to talk about how you will be involved on the other days of the week. Trust God to bless your decision with fruit as you model to them your faith in God in this way.
Regardless of whether you’re married or single, let those who need to know if you go “off grid” for awhile. Let others know an alternate contact or when you’d be available again, if you choose to turn your phone off during your Sabbath.
As Aaron Sironi discussed in his video, the Sabbath is something we want to offer to our families as well. Our households are also meant to be blessed by the Sabbath. This is something we as parents need to value, prioritize, and model. We start this by demonstrating it in our thoughts, words, and decisions.
What About You?
Though the Sabbath is such a beautiful gift, I was surprised at how hard it was to get started. There was always something that came up. You may find that too, as you attempt to practice the Sabbath, especially as you’re learning to incorporate it into your life.
So to that, I say two things: 1) expect it and 2) plan for it. Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice. Remember, this runs against the grain of our old nature. As God is purifying it, expect resistance.
But keep planning for it. Seek the Lord as you put in components of rest. Start with one week, learn from it, and then plan the next one, even as you plan your work week.
Keep working out your salvation in this area. Be diligent to enter that rest weekly. Though this is a side benefit, our rest can greatly improve our work—a topic we’ll get into in our next post.
