Taming the Social Media Beast: 3 Tips to Steward Your Influence
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.—1 Cor. 10:31
In my last post, I posed my dilemma—after over three years of not posting on social media, should I start up again?
I listed some pros and cons and realized that more than this question, I needed to answer deeper ones:
How do I engage with social media so that it glorifies God?
What role does it have in my ministry? And what role do I have in it?
How do I steward this opportunity well?
Here are three tips on how to move towards a decision that honors God.
Tip #1: Bring God into the decision.
If we are to do all to the glory of God, then it makes sense to look at it under His guidance. Left to my own devices (pun intended!), I do not seek HIs glory but my own. So begin first with Him.
Humbly pray for wisdom.
It starts here, and God convicted me right away. Because there are no rules for engagement in Scripture, and because we are all different in our response and use of it, I cannot find a blanket statement that fits me or everyone else. Ask God for help to
Open your eyes to your patterns and habits
Reveal your weaknesses and tendencies
Refine what is good in you.
Repent of your idolatry, if this is something you believe the Holy Spirit is convicting you of.
As you allow God to examine your heart, you may discover some things that are not so good. Do any of these hit the mark for you, as it did for me?
Idolizing the opinion of others. Are you more concerned with how many “likes” you got or are you basking in the secure love of the one true God who loves you more than we can imagine?
Manipulation. Am I guilty of spinning the story so I only show my best sides?
Showing off or elevating ourselves. Am I staging photos of my life so I can post them?
FOMO, or fear of missing out. We might laugh at the acronym but might it mask a desire to be like God, who alone deserves to be in the center of all that is happening?
Ungodly judgment. Do I think uncharitably of others or judge them unfavorably based on their posts?
Discontentment. Does looking at others’ posts create dissatisfaction in my heart so that I fail to see what God has blessed me with? Am I guilty of thanklessness?
Jealousy and envy. Not only am I discontent with what I do have, do I want what others have?
Unbelief. When I start comparing myself to others’ fantastic lives and come up short, do I begin to doubt God’s promises and what He tells me is true about me?
Gossip. What do I post about others in my comments? Does it slip into this territory?
A desire for omnipotence. When I feel overwhelmed by the many legitimate needs and burdens, do I take that on myself instead of letting them push me to God who alone can care for all?
Commit to spending more time in God’s Word first before you look at social media.
One of the most eye-opening things I have done is to do a social media time audit.
It’s pretty simple: note the time you start and stop each social media session, whether it be a minute or ten or more. At the end of the day, add it up. What do you find?
Then ask yourself this question: Have I spent the same amount of time in God’s Word and prayer? If you’re like me, that stark number alone is often enough to make me think twice.
Think about it: what do you reach for first when you start the day? Where does your mind go?
Now this audit is not meant to encourage legalism. It’s more just to put into numbers for ourselves what we’re doing. I hope it just makes us more aware of our choices and to train us to honor God in how we use our time.
Consider if it would help to take a break or fast from social media for a time.
This is probably worth a whole post on its own, but I’ll just throw it out there for your consideration for now.
For this post, I am going to assume you will be staying on your accounts, but if you—like me—are beginning to wonder if that is the best choice for you, stay tuned!
After you have worked through these things with the Lord and assuming you are at peace with using social media, let’s move on to the next tip.
Tip #2: Define your purpose for engaging in social media.
It’s too late to think about this while you’re on social media. We need to do this beforehand—when we are not bombarded with information and enticements. Take some time to prayerfully step back and view the landscape with these tips.
Start with the big picture.
Step back and ask yourself: How does social media fit in with God’s purposes for my life and time? How do I contribute to His Story by interacting on social media?
For me, when I try to identify this purpose in my own usage, I realize that God has both called me to make disciples and gifted me with a voice through my writing and speaking to encourage others towards Him.
By no means is social media the best way to do this. In fact, it is far better for me to interact personally with people, be it in person, on the phone, or even via Zoom, in conversation.
So if I choose to use social media, I want it to be a tool to surface those people who desire more personal interaction. I want to nurture conversation, as often as I can. Who can I personally encourage or connect with?
Have a clear reason each time you enter the social media arena.
Often times, we do things without thinking about why. We mindlessly scroll without knowing why we’re there.
So another thing to consider is defining that purpose. Ask yourself questions like these:
Why am I showing up in this space at this time? What am I doing here?
What am I hoping to accomplish through this time?
How do I want to give and serve?
If there are no clear answers to these questions, perhaps the last question to ask would be:
Should I be on here now? Is there something else I should be investing my time in?
Every time I enter into the social media world, I am choosing virtual relationships over real-time ones. If there are real people sitting in front of me, if I desire to truly love the Lord and love others, my focus should be on them, not people I cannot see.
Not only that, I want to enter into social media to give, not to get. If I am logging on simply to escape boredom, fill time, or check on my status, all those are inward focused reasons. As Sarah Zylstra says in her book, we want our online presence to be an overflow of our real lives.
I want my real life to be full—and out of that fullness, I then give generously to the people before me. Only when they are cared for do I want to seek to bless my friends on social media—and in order to do that, I need to actually live real life, not a vicarious one.
Consider if there are better ways to accomplish these purposes without social media.
I realized something over these years off social media. If I want to share good news or a prayer request, I just directly call or text someone. I don’t need everyone on my followers list to “like” this to feel supported and encouraged. If I want a connection, I’ll share it with someone who will truly rejoice with me.
If you want to be on social media, focus on the one that best suits your purpose.
Not every social media platform, no matter how popular, is suitable for you. Additionally, if you truly desire to use social media for ministry purposes, then it may be better to focus your usage on that platform which the people you want to serve uses.
So ask yourself: Which platform will allow you to serve? What will best help you accomplish your goals for connection, ministry, or work? Are there ways you can connect the posts from one platform to another without having to be on them all?
Tip #3: Prepare yourself for engagement before you get on.
If, after prayer and defining your purpose, you believe that being on social media is appropriate for you, take some time to include a few additional layers of protection.
Pray for God’s protection and focus before you log in.
While social media is not evil in itself, we still cannot venture onto it with praying for God’s protection. There are many worthless things being promoted on social media—ads, images, videos that we really don’t need to see.
So before you log in:
Ask the Lord to protect us from the unexpected images, ads, words, comments.
Pray for the strength to resist temptation and turn our eyes away from these things instead of engaging them (Ps. 119:37).
Pray for His protection from the sin in our own hearts (see above).
Ask for discernment to know our limits and the discipline we need to stop.
Turn off phone notifications.
We do not need to be notified about everything that happens on social media, even after we are off it! Those little red bubbles on my phone signifying unread messages irritate me and for some, induce anxiety. Who needs that?
Though these little notification bubbles may seem neutral (and I’m not sure if they are), they also dictate a value system for me as well. Our minds interpret them as things we ought to do and check. Knowing my weakness, I’ve turned off all notifications on my phone (not just for social media) and feel so much better.
Curate who you’re following.
One of the main benefits of social media—connection—can also be one of its drawbacks. When we follow a person, we are given many others to consider as well. This is how people (like us) could share our services with people who sincerely might be interested.
However, the algorithm is making a value judgment for us as well. As believers, we need to be discerning of who these people are, especially if the interest is not faith-based (and even if they are!). We need to beware of their accompanying worldview and values before we accept any recommendations we are given.
Another thing to consider is going through your friends or followers list and removing those people or groups that may not be godly influences. Deleting a friend from your account doesn’t mean deleting them from your life—it just helps you “clean up” what comes at you. By all means, keep in touch in real time!
Make it difficult to access.
I had a hard time with the idea of closing my account completely, so I have done the next best thing: I deleted the app off my phone. When I got a new device, I didn’t put it back on. The only way I can check my social media account is on my laptop—which isn’t always with me.
If you aren’t ready for that, another thing you can do is complicate or make it more inconvenient for you to access the app. Put it out of sight—not on your home page. Put it in folders so it takes more steps to find. Of course, when there’s a will there’s a way, but this could be a start.
Set some rules for engagement for yourself.
Again, I’m not trying to be legalistic, but the purpose is to make it as easy as possible for you to know what to do. It’s far easier to make these decisions beforehand. The trick is to discipline yourself to follow through and stick with those intentions. If you live to break rules, then this idea may not be for you!
This is a very personal opinion, and each of us may need to wrestle with it on our own. Some questions to help you include:
What would it look like for me to integrate social media into my life in a really healthy way with submission to the Savior? (This is a great question I am incorporating from this podcast!)
What is my primary goal for being on social media? What will I do to make sure I do all I can possible to stick with that goal?
What will I look at? What will I not look at?
When will I engage in social media? What times are off limits?
Are there better ways for me to engage with people? What’s the most effective way for me?
What do I want to post? Can I explain why I want to post it? What criteria will I use to evaluate my posts beforehand? (e.g. will it hurt others who are not invited? Am I showing off something? Is this dishonest? Am I trying to elicit a response? Is it inappropriately vulnerable? Does it honor God or myself?)
Depending on your answers to these questions, you may wish to set 2-3 guidelines for yourself. Don’t have too many—it takes too long and we’ll forget once you enter the jungle.
Two for me include:
No social media if real people are present with me.
No social media if there is other work I can and should be doing.
Conversely, that means that if I have finished the task at hand and I am alone, I am free to spend some time on it as a brain break. (But honestly, after having been off it, I don’t know if that is even appealing to me anymore.)
Seek accountability from a friend.
Once you determine these guidelines, enlist a friend to help you stay on track. Let them know your concerns and temptations. Be honest about your weaknesses.
This requires humility. If you still want to engage with social media but also know you are negatively affected by it, it may require us to humbly ask one another, “Will you help me with this?”
We can do this by:
Texting a friend before we go on social media.
Texting a friend to ground yourself after you get on social media.
Sharing your account with your spouse.
Not only do we encourage true friendship by letting others in, we can find support and strength in numbers. We sharpen one another (Prov. 27:17) and we stir one another up to love and good works (Heb. 10:24).
And that’s always far better in real time.
Clip the tail.
This is probably something to do after you engage with social media, but I’ll add it here anyway.
I didn’t realize it, but one key idea that the TGC podcast pointed out was the fact that even when I get off social media, there are residual “long tail” effects. We don’t just sign off and move right back into our daily life.
The images we see, the posts we read—these all have lingering effects. We might be present in body but our minds are still in social media land.
One of the most practical ideas presented in the podcast was the encouragement to “clip the tail,” to cut off that residual effect by taking a moment to ground yourself back in the real world around you. The speaker suggested running through the five senses and naming what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling and then reorienting back to your real context with thanksgiving to God for these things.
So What’s My Verdict?
To be honest, this has gotten more complicated than I expected, but one thing I am beginning to see in myself: I really don’t want to be on social media. I don’t like the “tail.” I don’t need the temptation.
So I’ll explore this topic of fasting temporarily or the possibility of getting off social media completely. I do care about the friends on my list, but I prefer more “real” connections. How do I do this without just cutting things off completely?
Let me think about this a little more and I’ll be back next week with more thoughts. =)
