Should I Get Back on Social Media?
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”—James 1:5
Though I resisted it for many years, I did what I thought I would never do.
I opened a Facebook account.
At first, it was a fun way to connect with people I hadn’t heard from in years. It was light-hearted and –to be honest—quite gratifying to see all those “likes.” Through social media, we were able to chronicle our adoption journey with friends and family.
Why I Got Off Social Media
But like many others, I became addicted. I was always checking every spare moment I had—“just a few minutes,” of course. But before I knew it, an hour passed by. Responsibilities would slip a little, but enough to feel the difference.
Not only that, my mind became fragmented. I began to screen my real life and ask, “Is this share-worthy?” instead of “Does this glorify God?”
Most importantly, I didn’t like who I was becoming—one person on the outside but someone else in private. I worked hard to make my posts positive (to counteract the negativity I saw), so it was hard to be truthful about the turmoil inside. Even my honesty about our struggles was viewed as good.
Finally, in the spring of 2019, I had enough.
It started while reading Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. I became increasingly convicted that I needed to detox from social media. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to “go dark,” so I set a goal to not touch it for one month and see what happens.
John Piper remarks that it is in the times of fasting our latent idols are exposed. I began to see my craving for approval, my desire to be included, my manipulative ways, my falsity and hypocrisy—in short, my idolization and worship of myself. I wanted others to worship me.
But in God’s grace, as I faced these realities, I also began to see the benefits.
Less anxiety. Time to enjoy real relationships. Reading more. Thinking deeper. Making progress on things that really mattered without wondering what other people thought.
After my experiment was over, I realized that I liked this new life, so I haven’t really been back since. I still have my account, and I use it when others tell me to check it, but that’s about it.
And I like it that way.
Why the Question Then?
Fast forward to today. My husband and I are on the brink of an exciting transition to start a new ministry. We want to be able to get the word out. In the past, we simply wrote letters to friends and asked for their support.
But things are different now. There are options we have today that didn’t exist in the past.
A new question now looms before me: Should I use social media again?
A part of me resists. To be honest, I fear falling into that trap. I don’t want to go back to that life, be that person again.
But at the same time, I can see the benefits.
To help me answer the question, I did what a lot of us do nowadays. (Unfortunately, I have to admit: before I prayed about it, I consulted Google. Guilty as charged.)
Despite my faithlessness, God was gracious and helped me anyway by leading me to a book and two great podcast episodes (see the resources below) to help me think through my options.
What I realized was that wisdom involved praying about some deeper questions:
What is my purpose in using social media?
How do I use social media so that it contributes to my individual as well as corporate spiritual flourishing and growth?
How will using social media exalt God in my life? How does it fit into God’s Story and the work He is doing here?
How will it help me fulfill His purposes and aid me in making the contribution to His Church that I am meant to make?
What I learned is that the issue is not whether social media is evil or making a blanket statement that those who use it are sinful. Many have found ways to utilize social media as a tool and used it to glorify God through it (1 Cor. 10:31).
What I am realizing my greater concern should be is not the medium but me. My heart. My motives. My weakness. As Jen Wilkin notes, what makes social media good or bad “is more determined by the desires of the one using it.”
So what are those desires? Allow me to process some of my thoughts with you.
Good Reasons
Several come to mind:
It enlarges my heart and works against the tendency towards self-centered thinking. I am challenged to consider other sides of an issue. While I am entitled to an opinion, it certainly isn’t the only one out there. To serve and love well, I want to be able to understand others’ perspectives, especially if they differ from mine.
It does allow us to share about our ministry ventures. I can expand my current circle to meet new like-minded people that might benefit from what we are doing.
It also allows me to network with others who are doing similar types of ministry. I can learn from godly Titus 2 women that have a similar passion for the work we do.
If I truly desire God to use me to minister to others sensitively, wisely and compassionately, social media can help me grow in these areas.
Potential Pitfalls
But on the other hand, there are other reasons to consider.
The time suck. We go on for one thing and end up spending way too much time chasing rabbit trails. Enough said.
The residual “long tail” influence. Not only can I spend too much time on it, its after-effects are hard to remove. Even after I get off it, my thoughts linger, my emotions are affected, so that I bring it into my real world.
Virtual connection vs. real connection. All this “liking” and posting create a cycle that effectually substitutes virtual community for real ones. If connection is the goal, then there are better ways to do that: going out in person, or even a phone call or text is far more effective.
The negative influence. The creators of social media apps do not have our holiness in mind. They put up what they want us to see—and even if it’s a short 15 second reel or clip, they can add up to a lot of ungodly input. And if we become what we behold, we can unwittingly absorb these values and worldviews—especially if we follow these people daily.
The resulting anxiety. Every time I get on social media, I have to steel myself against the onslaught of news, updates, fun photos, and announcements. With so much vying for my attention, it is too much for my brain to process—mostly things I cannot really change or participate in. All I am left with is a feeling of anxiety and sometimes even despair.
The temptation to sin. Pride, gossip, envy, discontentment, ungodly competition, and perhaps more subtly—overestimating myself—my heart breeds all these as I read each post. Need I say more?
The Verdict
As I am counseling myself, I realize several things:
I don’t trust myself to go on social media. It is too tempting to go astray, and I want to keep my relationship with God as pure as possible. Just the thought of being sucked into the vortex of that addictive pattern truly frightens me.
On the other hand, I do want to keep my social media account. Despite the fact that the cons outweigh the pros, I have invested a lot into it over the past years, and I care about the people I am connected with.
I need another post! This is just too vast a topic to tackle in just one sitting. So I hope you’ll come back next week as I consider practical ways we can steward our influence well through social media.
Until then, let me leave you with a few resources that have helped me. I started with two podcasts, one from The Gospel Coalition and one from Reviving Our Hearts on this very topic. They led me to this book, Social Sanity in an Insta World, edited by Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra, senior writer and one of the editors at The Gospel Coaltion.
The book includes chapters on the history of social media as well as thoughts regarding emotions, discernment, influence, relationships, rhythms, decisions, and posting well, written by wise women like Jen Wilkin, Ruth Chou Simons, and Melissa Kruger.
Most of all, will you join me in prayer, asking the Lord for wisdom in how to handle this situation?
Father, I confess I lack wisdom in this area. There are pros and there are cons, but which is most important for me, with my own heart weaknesses, with the calling and ministry you have designed for me? I know You know what is best for me—which may not be the same for others. Would you please teach me and counsel me in Your way and trust You for what is best? You know the desires of my heart, what is good—and what masquerades as good. I invite you to examine me and reveal to me what you see and teach me how to walk in your everlasting way. In the name of Christ, Amen.
