Understanding Prayer: What It Is, What It Isn’t, and Why We Pray
“…pray without ceasing…”—1 Thess. 5:17
Earlier this year, I was reading 1 Thessalonians. At the end of the book, we read this short command: “Pray without ceasing.” I have always been intrigued with these three words. What does that even look like?
One thing I do know: I do not obey this command. In fact, I’d say that my MO is more like “pray when you can’t figure it out” or “pray when you’re at the end of your rope.” Prayer is usually my last—not first—resort.
Despite having written about the essential nature of prayer to our spiritual lives, spending a whole summer on the psalms, and reviewing a book on prayer, I would still count myself a novice on prayer. I don’t live what I profess. Why is that?
As a jumping off point in this journey, I used David Powlison’s article, “Why Do We Pray?” to help me grow in my understanding. Though we’ll be exploring many ways in this series to “pray without ceasing,” living out this command is the goal.
You with me? I hope so!
What is Prayer?
Being the person I am, my first thought is: How do I know when I am praying? How do I distinguish my thoughts from true prayer?
Try as I might, I can find no such definition in Scripture. So I’ve gone with the second best—a quote from someone I trust. David Powlison has been that guide for me. This is how he defines prayer:
“Prayer is a spiritually needy person’s communication with the God who hears.”
Three things I note from this definition:
“spiritually needy”—prayer is the way I admit my need before the only One who does have all I need. It is innately humble. Prideful people (myself included) don’t pray.
“communication”—prayer is a conversation between two people—a spiritually needy person and her God. It is both speaking and listening.
“the God who hears”—on the receiving end is someone who is paying attention to you. We are not speaking to thin air or to ourselves.
I pray when I recognize my spiritual need and talk to God about it, trusting that He hears me. Prayer is directed to Someone and that Someone cares about me enough to listen.
While we may not hear God audibly, He does speak to us. Usually, through His Word. But sometimes also through wise, godly companions who have gone before us. And sometimes through our suffering..
In short, Powlison observes, prayer communicates what we truly believe: 1) I need Someone to help me, 2) I want someone to help me, 3) I know there is outside help for me. I don’t need have to rely on myself alone.
What Prayer is Not
Just as important as knowing what prayer is, is knowing what it is not. According to Powlison in his article, prayer is not:
vague,
confusing,
a wish list,
a superstition—so bad things don’t happen,
a habit that the religious practice and the irreligious don’t,
a mantra to evoke good feelings—psychological experience;
a reflex before we get down to the real business of work;
stock religious phrases that mean nothing.
In contrast, prayer should be specific and clear. I pray honestly, with thoughtful words. It is not centered merely on the things I want.
The focus on prayer is not me—to make myself feel better or as a way to manipulate God to get what I want. I don’t pray as insurance but in assurance that whatever happens as a result of prayer, God’s will is done in my life.
So if the purpose of prayer is not to make my life better, and God is not like a genie in a bottle, then why should I pray?
The Purpose of Prayer
Powlison answers that question this way:
“Why do you pray?
I suspect that you and I are probably alike. And that answer is the same as mine. I need to. This question is like asking ‘Why do you breathe?’ You could say, ‘I breathe because I’m supposed to. I breathe because it makes me feel better. I breathe because life goes poorly if I don’t. I breathe, but it’s just a habit that I happen to have.’ But you realize that when it comes to breathing, the deepest and simplest answer is that I need to breathe. Why do we pray? When we are honest, we say the reason we pray is that we need to pray. It is the door of life. And if we don’t, we perish. If we don’t, we are insane.”
At the most basic level, we can say this about prayer: I pray because I am supposed to. Prayer will make me feel better. When I don’t pray, life goes poorly.
But ultimately, at the end, I want to be able to say: I pray because it is my first instinct. I can’t live without praying. It is insane for me not to pray.
We pray because without it, life makes no sense.
My Report Card
The analogy of prayer to breathing is not a new one for me. But what was new was the insanity of not praying. I would never hold my breath for fun or think of it as a last resort. In fact, it takes work to not breathe. My body revolts! It doesn’t take long before I’m gasping for air.
And yet, that is not how I view prayer. This is not how I live. And how I really live—not only what I profess with my mouth—is the truest indicator of my beliefs.
If what Powlison says is accurate, when I don’t pray, what I’m really saying is: 1) I don’t need help. 2) I don’t want help. 3) I can do this myself. My prayerlessness reveals my blindness, prideful sin, and lack of faith.
A Commitment to Change
Even as I write this, I stand convicted. It is a grace for God to show me that far from being neutral, my stunted view of prayer is not just immaturity. It is sinful at its root. But if I want to grow, He is more than willing to teach me.
So I hope you will join me in this series as we explore the many different ways we can pray. Unlike breathing, prayer can take many shapes and forms. Though we generally can only breathe one of three ways (through our nose, through our mouth, or with the help of a machine) there are so many more wonderful ways to pray!
Some of these ways may fit better or feel more natural than others, but there are so many different means to “breathe” prayer. As we learn the various means of God’s grace, I hope that you and I will learn what it means to “pray without ceasing.”
