Five Things I'm Doing Differently Now I'm in My Fifties

Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.—Prov. 16:31

This week, I celebrate another birthday. Older, for sure. But wiser? Hopefully I’m moving in the right direction!

To be truthful, it has been a mixed bag. Like everyone else, there is no righteousness in me (Rom. 3:23). I have not always made righteous choices. Any righteousness is only through Christ (2 Cor. 5:21).

But praise be to God—not only has He covered and forgiven my unrighteousness, He has used these very things to help me become more like Christ (Rom. 8:28, 29).

So what are some lessons I have learned over the past five decades?

Value Process Over Product

My tendency is to focus on the external, the finished product. God, on the other hand, is just as concerned about the process.

I learned this lesson from my then two-year-old daughter during her first foray into the world of crafts. My goal was to have a little piece to include in her scrapbook.

That, however, was not her goal. While I wanted a finished product, she simply delighted in the process of gluing and then removing, repeating it over and over with different pieces. Just when I thought she was done, she would take it apart and start over.

That experience over twenty years ago still comes back to me today.

God taught me that while He does have a “product,” Christlikeness, in mind, it is a process. We cannot rush it or avoid it. Sometimes it feels repetitive and painful.

All of us are going to be in process in some form or fashion for the rest of our lives. Philippians 1:6 promises that God will be faithful to get us there. That’s His job.

Our job is to live fully in the present, even if it is not what we want, and make the most of the opportunities He gives me through the process.

What is God working on in you today? Will you let Him form the image of Christ in you and entrust that process to Him through your trials?

Home is My First Ministry

I have always been encouraged to be ambitious. When I was in college, I viewed kids as a cute accessory that stayed perpetually little. I didn’t think about them growing up, and I certainly never thought about all the challenges they would add to life.

So clearly, I was in for a shock. They were cute, but maybe not so much at 3 AM when I’m trying to figure out how to feed them.

They certainly opened up doors for ministry—people often feel safer with someone who has a kid in tow. But they were always with me, even when I wasn’t doing ministry. And in my immaturity, I resented that.

I thought it would get easier when they become more independent, but really it meant that our struggles also increased as we dealt with issues beyond grocery store tantrums and toilet training.

Though it was hard, it slowly dawned on me that as a mother, this was my greatest ministry. Others will come and go, but my children will always be my children for the rest of our lives. I will need to answer to God one day for how I stewarded this blessing.

When I realized that I spent far more time leading Bible studies and discipling women than I did my own children, I was convicted. I stepped down from what was a fruitful work so I could do this work. This was a hard choice, but I have not regretted it.

If you have children, how might recognizing this as your first ministry over everything else change how you do life?

Be Honest About Your Sin

I wrote about this in another blog post, so I won’t go into much detail now. The main lesson I learned: If I refuse to admit my sin, I will not experience the full benefits of the Gospel.

It seems easier to avoid looking at the failures and faults in your life. But the benefits are worth far more than the pain: intimacy with Christ, integrity in character, authenticity in ministry. It does require the humbling work of confession, but the rewards and blessings are worth it (Ps. 32:1-2).

Ironically, it is this very low point that actually is the connecting point between me and others. It puts us on the same page and allows me to encourage others with true experience of God’s comfort (2 Cor. 1:3, 4). It is no longer theoretical but something I can testify about.

Have you honestly faced your sin in light of God’s grace? How has it changed how you relate with others?

Take Time to Rest

This lesson has probably taken the longest for me to learn. The wakeup call came when I began experiencing health-related issues due to stress. It was like God was forcing my body to stop because I certainly did not have the discipline to do so.

While I am all for rest, I struggled with this fact: Taking time to rest means letting go of your work. This requires faith to entrust that unfinished work to Him.

This is hard for those of us who find our identity in what we do. I had to question that connection. When I realized not only does taking a day of rest have zero impact on God’s love for me but actually provides benefits, I finally took the leap of faith to add a weekly Sabbath into my life.

Not surprisingly, when I rest in faith, I have experienced blessings I did not expect. I began to understand what it meant that God loved me unconditionally. I also discovered I work differently so I can enjoy that rest. I have time to delight in His presence and enjoy others.

Would learning to rest be a lesson you also need to learn? How would your faith grow if you did?

Work as a Team, Not as a Lone Ranger

I admit it—I love the feeling of being in control. It feeds my prideful, independent nature.

But over the years, I have also discovered that I have limits. Not only that, I miss out on the joy of working with others and enjoying something far greater than anything I could do on my own.

That shouldn’t be surprising, as that is how God designed the body of Christ to work.

While working as a team requires more time and sometimes can be frustrating, it has also been a way God has reshaped my identity and grown my faith. I am a part of a greater whole, not the whole itself. I need to do my part, but it’s not all up to me. There’s freedom in that.

Where do you need the partnership and input of others? How might pridefulness get in your way of working as a team?

So there you go. Five lessons I have learned over five decades.

And by His grace, I pray I will keep growing as I connect the dots in my own life.