A Primer on Filling Your Home With Wisdom and Beauty
By wisdom a house is built,
and by understanding it is established;
by knowledge the rooms are filled
with all precious and pleasant riches.—Prov. 24:3-4
When I was trying to decide my focus for this blog, I had home in mind. I knew I didn’t want to create a blog about homemaking, but I wanted to focus on home as an expression of our faith, love, and service.
This is not going to look the same from home to home. My style, tastes, or preferences will differ from yours. So I wanted to focus on the more common denominators: the faith and love for God and others that serve at its foundations.
An older woman’s job is not to teach a younger woman to make her home look just like hers. Rather, she is to help her to grasp the bigger vision of home and then help her to apply the truths of Scripture and let her shape it into a home that is uniquely her own. She may provide suggestions and ideas to start with, but none of it should be rules or regulations.
Not only that, as an older woman, I discover that I am always learning and growing myself in the development, maintenance, and care of my home. This also keeps me from being hard-nosed about things of secondary importance. There is always something new for me to learn to improve how my home operates and functions. Therefore, this blog may include some of those discoveries that worked for me, but they are by no means the standard for homemaking excellence.
Just wanted to say that before we jump into this post!
Focusing on Your Heart
As we look at how an older woman can teach a younger woman how to set up her home with a God-centered vision, we need to start with the heart. (You knew I was going to say that, right?)
As I have shared often, before we do anything, it is best to spend time in the Lord’s presence for vision and guidance. I particularly like to do some planning at the end of each year.
I generally start the process in fall, as the busy and active summer season slows down. Before the holidays hit, I take some time to start remembering the good things God has done in the past year, much like my own autumn harvest. I start gathering these in a “basket” in my mind, often on a document, and start evaluating the different areas of my life.
After the holidays are over, with some of this work done, I take the week after the Christmas holidays to prayerfully consider three areas of my own life I’d like to grow in (such as a focused Bible study, health challenge, or skill to develop), my relationships (marriage, family, or friends), and my home to develop. If possible, I like to get away for at least a day, if not overnight, to reflect, dream, and plan for my life, family, and home.
I do this because as the queen of my domain, I want to not just manage my home and family well, I want to do so out of a heart of love. Unless I do, it is easy for me to forget that my family is not a to-do list item to check off. The nature of home is unending so I want my heart to be focused on loving people, not just having a picture-perfect house or well-oiled system ini place.
So I begin with my own heart. Some of the things I think about:
In my own life: I begin with decluttering my soul of guilt, bitterness, or other burdens that I do not want to carry into the new year. I surrender myself to the Lord once again to do His work in the year to come. I ask Him to help me focus on an area to change: either a virtue to develop or a sin to overcome.
In my family: As my home is not merely a rest stop, I also use this time to pray about my relationships with my husband and children. I ask God to help me evaluate how we function in our marriage, our discipleship of our kids, and how our family unit is a blessing to others. As the people are the heart of a home, I start here before I consider the next section below.
In our home: If I want to incarnate Christ’s beauty in our home, then I want to take a closer look at how we do life in our home. Do our rhythms, systems, and schedules all work towards this end? Are there ways I can streamline some of this work to make the more important things happen? I’ll go into more detail in the next section.
Coming at planning in this way helps me to put things in context. Otherwise, I find that I generate an overwhelming list of things I need to do instead of thinking about why and who I am doing them for. When I start with the Lord and with others that I seek to serve, then I am better able to select those means that will best help me accomplish my goals.
This is what we as older moms want to help the younger moms cultivate: this ability to think through the particulars of their household. We want them to consider the seasons they are in—which are different than ours. If we offer any good ideas, they are not meant to be rules or standards, but suggestions that will help them to best serve their families and nurture the home culture and environment they desire to create.
How you carry yourself in the home sets the tone of it. So take time to do your own heart work first. As you do, caring for the home becomes a great privilege and responsibility, a way to bless your family through your care.
Framing Your Home
With that said, let’s take a closer look in how to frame your home. How do we build our homes with wisdom and establish it in understanding? (Prov. 24:3)
After doing our heart work, take some time to evaluate the current state of your home. In her book, The Lifegiving Home (p. 46), Sally Clarkson suggests this framework (attributed to her husband, Clay) using the acronym “FIRST.” Evaluate these areas by thinking about what is good to celebrate and keep as well as the listing areas you’d like to improve or grow in.
Family: What are the daily rhythms your family needs to function smoothly—mealtimes, bedtimes, school routines? What are the important things that you want to regularly practice? Can you combine the two, like carving out time at dinner to converse with intentional questions? Or celebrate birthdays with a special one-on-one time with the birthday child?
Information: Home is also our “training center” for faith. Unlike a classroom, we see our children in all times of the day. The daily happenings of life, whether it be hardship, conflict or discipline, can be intentionally used to impart biblical truth to our children. We cannot teach everything all the time, so what is something appropriate for this season or stage in the life of your family or for each child? What do they need preparation for? What do they need correction in? Also consider what types of books and materials are made available for your family to read, play, or interact with.
Rest: Think intentionally of how you can incorporate moments of rest in the midst of your family’s activities. Do you have regular points in each day, week and year for your family to pull away, points where the activity stops so you can enjoy the Lord and one another? It doesn’t have to all be spiritual—it can simply be a break to grab ice cream on a hot summer night or a standing date with another family every month to meet at the park for a picnic. What are things that keep you from resting? Can they be trimmed out? Consider if you need limits on the infringements of technology or social media.
Stuff: What kinds of rhythms are needed to keep your home livable, especially in the common areas? Do you need some time to do some decluttering, spring cleaning, or take things to Goodwill or host a garage sale on a regular basis to keep your house from being taken over? This is not something you need to do alone, but as the manager of the home, you can set times in your family life to systematically and regularly trim down and tidy your living spaces.
Time: Do you have a framework for your home with daily rhythms and routines? Beyond the schedule, also think about how you start and end the day. Do you take the opportunity each morning to greet one another or bless each child before bed? Also consider the special events: How might you mark the passage of birthdays, anniversaries, milestones, or holidays in a meaningful way? What are some ways you might start or end the year?
Filling Your Home
Lastly, as the woman of the house, you not only have the privilege of keeping it running it smoothly, we also have the opportunity to fill the home so it embodies the beauty and heart of God. I love the idea Proverbs 24:4 describes—filling the rooms with precious and pleasant riches.
This is more than just being a great interior designer or have the knack for decorating. I don’t. But I still can fill my home with richness, even if it isn’t opulent. How might that look?
This begins simply by dedicating the home to the glory of God. From there, I arrange my furniture so that it values the things He does. What takes front and center in my living spaces? Is it inviting to play in? Do the pieces I hang on my wall reflect our family values, loves, and tastes?
Here are some questions that might help you to fill your home:
How might I fill my home so that people feel welcomed and embraced when they enter the door?
Conversely, how might I prevent ungodly influences and harm from entering my home?
What might I add so that our home is a treasure chest of resources and wholesome pursuits?
How might our home reflect God’s values and beauty on its walls?
How might we arrange our furniture so that it is conducive to building relationships: cozy couches to talk or enjoy a good story together (and not just watch TV)? What is front and central to our living room?
How might I stock my home with healthful nourishment?
How can I design spaces for sanctuary and rest in my home?
Ultimately, when we fill our homes, we want to make it our goal to fill it with love. This doesn’t have to be done all at once. But in our home, we can look for ways to make your home enjoyable to all and then slowly shape, add and remove, to move your family in that direction.
Neither do you need to do this alone. As the conductor of your home, you can enlist the aid of your family. Getting their input on design often makes filling your home a group project that you can do together.
The natural turn of seasons can often encourage such changes and pursuits. Cleaning and decorating for the holidays—or decluttering afterwards—can be something your whole family can get involved with. Each person can work in their room and contribute to the common spaces.
Conclusion
Creating a home is not a competition. It is an art—and one that is slowly being lost over time.
As older women, may we help younger women capture the beauty and privilege of managing and orchestrating a household so that it honors the Lord, blesses its inhabitants, and becomes a haven of hope for those who enter it.
