Two Paths to Change (part 1): Habits
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.—Phil. 2:12, 13
Hopefully, by now, you have a few changes you’d like to make. Before I go on, I’d like to mention something that I didn’t get to talk about last time: knowing the difference between what is your job and what is God’s job.
Trust and Do
In my personal experience, I am learning that being able to differentiate between these two is critical. When I try to do God’s work, I will always be frustrated. But when I fail to do my work and expect God to do it, I will not get anywhere either.
Rather, we are to “work out” our salvation, as Paul describes in Philippians 2, but “with fear and trembling.” It is a humble posture. This is not about my plans or ability, but seeking the Lord’s pathway to the change and growth we desire to see.
Ultimately, God is the one who is at work in us. He will fulfill His will through us and accomplish His plans as we work faithfully. Our job is to show up and do the grunt work—the practice, the discipline—over and over.
This may feel tedious and mundane and ordinary, but as we do it faithfully, waiting on Him to use this work, He does something in us that we cannot.
He changes us.
The One who transforms caterpillars to butterflies also transforms us. He brings forth fruit in keeping with the Spirit that lives within us.
This is the great Metamorphosis. It is the great Harvest. He takes my labors and turns it into something that looks nothing like what I put in.
We cannot control when the transformation happens. We cannot control when the fruit will appear. But we can trust that in due season, it will come (Gal. 6:9).
So as you look at your desired change, can you tease out what is your part? What is God’s?
Generally, the outcome is God’s work. The labor I do increases the odds of that outcome happening. God does not owe me the outcome, but I can anticipate something will happen. Wisdom is doing the actions of faith while trusting the outcome to Him.
The first act of faith is prayerful planning, bringing my heart’s desires, hopes, and plans to Him. I can trust Him to show me what needs to be done. Then I act on those plans in faith as well.
For example, I might desire to have a restful and joyful holiday season this year, even in the midst of my son’s upcoming wedding. But that is not something I cannot produce.
However, I can work ahead to alleviate stress. I can plan times to rest and enter into the season with my family in the midst of the hectic days. My actions, done in faith, open the door for Him to do His work in me and through me.
As we continue through this series, keep this in mind. Pray through each of these suggestions, asking the Lord to show you how to make plans in faith. Then trust Him to use your choices to bring about the changes you desire.
With that said, let’s take a look at some of the things that we can do to help us move towards change.
Think Concretely
As we continue to move towards a Gospel-driven productivity, we go from intangible vision to purposeful action that we can do towards living out the vision of the Kingdom through our specific contribution or mission. We then apply our gifts towards the people that we live with, ministering to them through the various roles we play, the tasks of service we do for them.
Here are three ways that help us to move our work into even more concrete territory: thinking in quarters, thinking in terms of habits or projects, and thinking in terms of actions. This will be a two-part post—I’ll get up to thinking in terms of habits and will finish next time.
Think in Quarters
The first thing I would suggest is thinking in terms of quarters or three months at a time. A shorter time frame is much easier to work with.
When I think in quarters, it helps me to have a much more specific focus. It also is less daunting. Making a plan for a year is hard to keep up but three months? I can do that!
Look at your plan. What can you focus on for the next quarter?
Think in Terms of Habits or Projects
Not all change happens in the same way. In my experience, I found that there are two things that we can do that help us move toward change.
First, we change through the habits we develop. Habits are lifelong practices that shape us a little at a time, which can be good or bad. In order to change bad habits, we need to start practicing an alternate good and better one. Habits have a start date, but usually not an ending one.
Second, we change as we work on specific projects. These are usually of a shorter duration, with a start date, but most importantly, an ending date or deadline. It is involved in completing a task that, once done, is done.
As you look at the steps you have identified in the last section, would you classify them as a habit or a project? Are they things you want to start doing? Are they things that, if you complete them, will move you a step closer to change?
Once you’ve differentiated the two, let’s take a look at each more closely. I’ll focus on habits for this post and in the next one, we’ll look at projects.
Training with Habits
When it comes to habits, I think of physical training. We cannot control the rate at which we lose weight or build muscle, but we can practice disciplines that help us to do so.
This is true also of spiritual training. We cannot produce a strong relationship with God, but we can practice disciplines, like spiritual breathing exercises, that can help us to do so.
Unfortunately, most researchers agree that it is impossible to stop a bad habit. The only way we can change the negative is by consistently choosing and re-training a new, better one to override it.
Paul links the picture of physical discipline to spiritual discipline in 1 Cor. 9:24-27. He describes how, like an athlete, he disciplines his body and trains to win the prize. He doesn’t want to run aimlessly or be disqualified so he carefully keeps his body under control so that he might have a chance to win at the end.
He makes a similar exhortation to Timothy, his young protégé, in 2 Tim. 2:1-7. The goal is to build up the church with faithful men, so he charges Timothy to make choices to please his commanding officer, to abide by the rules so he can win the prize, to faithfully plant seed so he can one day reap its fruit. Timothy, like all of us, will one day need to present himself to God (2 Tim. 2:15) so Paul urges him to be a worker who rightly handles the truth so he need not be ashamed.
For some, discipline is a dirty word. It seems to cut out the spontaneity and joy in life.
However, instead of thinking that way, let’s flip the script: one day, discipline will give way to freedom. Habits are habits because after practicing them, they become automatic. We are free(r) from the hard work of motivating ourselves to do what is good and right.
Is part of your process going to require the development of a new habit that you haven’t done before? Or will it require that you strengthen an already existing good habit you’re already doing? Or will it require you to train up a new and better habit to replace one that isn’t helpful?
Here are some general tips that have helped me:
Establish a start time.
Unlike a project, we set a target for when we will start a new habit, as it will never be completed. All things considered, when would be the best time for you to start this new habit?
Insert new habits into pre-existing routines.
Routines are a sequence of habits. I have found that because the routine is already in place, it is less difficult to add one little new step in it, such as drinking a cup of water before drinking a cup of coffee. Insert new habits into the routine to help you.
This also helps in building relational habits. Think of little things you can do to build connections with the people you love, starting with mealtimes or car rides that already take place. How can you make the most of those moments?
Start with a baby step and add on.
When it comes to a lifestyle change, this is going to take a little more time. Again, break it down into smaller steps, master it, then add on. Remember, you’re shaping your values as well as your life and this will take time.
For example, in regards to my health habits, I started simply by reading for 15 minutes. As my thinking began to change, I found it easier to implement more little steps. I started with one walk, then added a second one. Then I added a short workout and swapped out some ingredients in meals.
This works for spiritual disciplines too. Frame your devotional life in terms of building a relationship with God. Start with five minutes of reading or listening to a passage of Scripture each day, then respond in prayer over what you read or heard. Add more once that becomes a habit. Begin with something so easy you cannot lose. This gets the habit started and a quick win that encourages you to take the next step.
What habit can you start (or start again) to help you move towards change?
