Helping One Another Grow as Saints

“So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit”.—Eph. 2:19-22

Do you have a “me and God” kind of faith? Just you two. And that’s all you need.

While that may be the modern way, the Bible describes growth very differently.

Check out the Ephesians 2 passage above. Did you notice “fellow citizens with the saints,” “members of the household of God,” “being joined together,” and “being built together”?

We are not solitary.

When we become believers, we are brought in to a family. Families are meant to help one another. In God’s family, this cornerstone is Christ, and we join together to encourage one another to grow up into His image through His Word of grace that dwells within us (Col. 3:16; Eph. 4:29).

We must help one another grow up as saints.

Even the most mature of us will not be perfect, but as we grow, we can help those around us grow alongside with us.

Becoming a saint is a messy business. We need one another to get out of the mire of sin and the pit of despair. I know I wouldn’t be here today, were it not for those faithful friends who willingly waded into the muck with me.

So how do we help one another grow up into our identity as saints, even in the hard times?

Ministering to Unlikely Saints

Some saints may be awkward, eccentric or just simply rub you the wrong way. I’m sure you can think of individuals in your church community that fit in this category! Instead of being encouraging, it’s easy to criticize.

But if God has taken someone as ill-qualified as me to be a saint and united me with Him and made me holy, I need to believe that of these people as well. Not only that, they are essential members of the body, even if we don’t feel like they are (1 Cor. 12:21-22). Our feelings are not the basis of truth.

With this in mind, here are some ways we can think about and minister to them.

Get Rid of Your Own Logs First

This comes from Jesus’ pointed—even humorous—illustration in Matt. 7:1-5. Here, this passage warns us against making critical judgments on others based on our own (not God’s) standard of measure. This is different than wisely discerning using God’s standards.

Even when we have just cause to doubt, we need to be careful that in our own prideful arrogance, we do not jump to making uncharitable judgments of others without doing our due diligence in reflection and prayer. Ask God to help us see how we commit the very same types of sins.

One of the benefits of doing this is that it tempers our responses and softens them, even if we need to confront them. At other times, seeing the ways we do the same thing, just in a different form, humbles us, and we discover it is not something to address, but instead bear with grace. 

Watch for Fruit

If people are true believers, there should be evidence of fruit—even if it is fruit-in-process.

Instead of focusing on the thorny places, prayerfully ask the Lord—what are some ways this person shows, as Tim Keller calls it, glimmers of our glory selves? What fruit of the Spirit shows buds of promise?

Let us train ourselves to watch for fruit just as much as we notice the thorns, the immaturity, and even the rottenness. Ask the Lord to give you the eyes to see the evidences of faith and not just the lack of it.

Watch Your Words

In conjunction with our thoughts towards others, we need to also watch our words. How easy it is to complain or be critical of others when they fall short! For many of us, being slow to speak (James 1:19) is how God trains us in our own growth as saints.

Remember, we have a limited understanding. We don’t see the whole situation, especially the hidden motivations of the heart—even our own!

By nature, a true saint is highly cognizant of their own sinfulness. They kneel in humility before God, aware of their great need. This step helps us to grow in gratitude to God for His kindness to us and paves the way for us to call others to live as the saints they are.

Make Appeals as Saints

With all that said, as believers there are times when God wishes to use us as instruments of His grace to help others grow, that is—we must speak up. Nathan the prophet confronting David (2 Sam.12), Jesus’ woes to the Pharisees (Matt. 23), Paul addressing Peter (Gal. 2:11-14)—these come to mind as biblical examples.

But this is admittedly difficult. (If you actually enjoy this, then you may need to deal with some logs first!)

However, it can be done. Mike Emlet, in Saints, Sufferers, and Sinners, points out how Paul masterfully does this in his first letter to the Corinthians. We can learn much not only by what he says but by how he approaches it.

Instead of shaming people into change, Paul begins with a clear reminder of who they are (1 Cor. 1:2), building on what a saint looks like in verses 4-9. Only then does he jump in to his first issue in verse 10. This is an excellent example of the idea of “appeal”—imploring others to reconsider their actions in light of their true identity.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of an appeal, you will know as I do that this is far more effective. It is also the way God confronts us—and instead of feeling defensive and angry, we are convicted and moved to respond in repentance.

[Note: there is one exception Emlet notes. He points out that in the book of Galatians, he does not address them in this manner. He jumps right in with his concerns (1:6).

In moments of life-and-death, abuse, urgency, or serious harm to self or others, we must get right to it. We cannot dally. These are the times when we need to quickly and pointedly address issues, find help, or even rebuke. Though rare, they need to be addressed immediately with wisdom and discernment.]

Ministering to Discouraged Saints

Besides the unlikely saints, there are the discouraged ones. You probably know these people too.

They are the ones who seem to have it all, and yet are so unhappy. They are talented, well-liked, and respected, yet wrestle with shame, guilt, and hopelessness over their sins and failures. Others may be anxious and fearful, living by their own wits and wisdom.

How can we minister to them?

Remember Your Focus

In our day and age of self-focus, it is easy to try to take this tack. We say things like “You’re not that bad—you’re too hard on yourself.” We then go on to list all the great things we see in them, all that they’ve done.

While this is helpful, it still falls short. Why? Because the focus is on the person, not Christ.

As Stuart Scott notes, there’s a difference between “Wow, Me! (in Christ)” and “Wow! Christ in Me!” Where is the focus—on yourself and the worth you have because of your union with Him? Or are you focusing on the even more amazing fact that despite me, Christ lives in me.

This is the heart of a saint. We know we’re not good and godly people.

But what we focus on is not our fallenness but the amazing fact that God loves, saves, and calls me His own though I still sin. This is what gives us true value and worth.

That is the truth. And that is what we need to tell one another.

Be a Signpost

Just as we look for fruit in the life of an unlikely saint, we do likewise in the life of a discouraged one. Emlet calls this reminder of pointing out the good fruit of what God is doing being a “signpost” to Christ.

Now, let’s be honest. Sometimes we are rather stingy or refrain outright from doing this because it feels a bit like people-pleasing or encouraging narcissism.

But what makes this different from those things is that the focus is on Christ and His greatness shown in their lives. It is entirely appropriate to glorify God as you point out the evidence of His work, how they showcase Him. In this way, we can be agents of God who shine light into darkness.

So look for ways to stand alongside one another and look to Christ together. Be the voice that highlights His greatness and the good work He is doing and praise Him alone.

Don’t forget this includes your family! What a powerful ministry this can be to spouses, children, parents, and even roommates.

Put It Into Practice

Think about those in your own life. Do you know some unlikely saints? Some discouraged ones?

Consider how you might encourage them as saints towards glorifying Christ.