How the Heat Reveals Our Hearts

“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thornbushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.—Luke 6:43-45

I hope that after the last post, you were able to take stock of where you are in your life, what is “squeezing” you right now, what is putting on the “heat.”

As mentioned, the heat is not to blame for the challenges and hardships in life. It is not determinative.

This realization was very important for me in my own season of suffering post- adoption. I spent all my energies trying to pin the blame on someone: my husband, myself, even God. I thought that if I could just vent my frustrations on a target, that punching bag can absorb my pain.

But blaming does no good. In fact, it takes away the power to change and puts it on the shoulders of someone or something else. Not surprisingly, I stalled in my faith for many years because I was certain that all my problems were “out there.”

Not only that, I was adding to the heat by faulty perceptions. My anger turned toward my husband greatly weakened our marriage. My anger at myself became depression and despair. And my anger at God alienated me from the One who alone could provide me with the help and hope I needed.

A Lesson from Our Garden

As Jesus pointed out in Luke 6, there are only two different kinds of trees—good or bad. The good tree bears good fruit out of a good heart. The bad tree does not produce good fruit because its “storehouse,” where it is planted, is evil. That makes sense.

When we moved into our house many years ago, we inherited three trees in our backyard. We didn’t know what kind of trees they were. But over the years they began to reveal themselves.

One of them bore lemons. Another bore grapefruit. And the last one bore oranges.

And now we know what kinds of trees they are. How? Because of the fruit they bore.

All of them were exposed to the same hot California summer. Right now, they are all being deluged with rain. The same bees will buzz around them and pollinate them.

The “heat” is the same for all the trees, but each of them will produce fruit in keeping with its kind. Though they are all citrus trees, the orange tree will never bear lemons, and the grapefruit tree will never bear oranges. Its DNA has determined its destiny.

The same is true for our own hearts, for it is “out of the abundance of the heart [our] mouth speaks.” The heat of life, under the sovereign hand of God, is designed to put the “squeeze” on us so that we can see what kind of fruit tree we are. When life gets “hot,” what kind of fruit will come out?

The Heat Reveals Your Heart (Thorns)

When life is good, it is easy to fool ourselves with the true state of the heart. To illustrate, let me share my own experience.

For me, before our adoption, I would say things were going pretty well. I had just been published in a homeschooling magazine. Churches were inviting me to speak to their moms’ groups. Life at home with my three children was busy, but it was good.

I thought I was on the incline.

But God, who sovereignly sees all, knew there was rot in my heart. He knew that I was blind to this rot of pride and self-sufficiency.

Not only was a blind to this, I was blind to my blindness. In fact, I thought I was a pretty good person.

But this kind of attitude—where I am great and He is my sidekick who helps me fulfill my plans and goals—is a dangerous one that threatened me. He sees how destructive in the long run that kind of soul is—to me, to others, and to His kingdom.

Though I cannot say this is His purposes for sending Anah into our family, I am beginning to see how He used it to create a new kind of fruit in me. I don’t even want to imagine what kind of person I would be if He didn’t intervene. I don’t think I would want to know myself.

So my point is this: don’t miss out on the opportunities the heat brings in your life. I spent my first 3-4 years post-adoption fighting against God. I resisted Him at every turn, only to my own detriment.

Don’t do that.

Instead, submit yourself to Him. Entrust the heat you are going through into His hands, knowing that He has your good in mind and at heart.

When I fought Him, all kinds of junk came out. The true reality of my heart was exposed when I saw the fruit.

I would volley between anger, vindictiveness, and heedless workaholism and withdrawal, escaping, and denial. When one path didn’t work to ease the pain, I would resort to the other in despair or a prideful ambition to get back in control.

Finally, I came to a point where shame overtook me and I began to hide—from God, from people. What kind of pastor’s wife was I? I was not a fit example for the church.

So I would spend my Sunday mornings holed up in my husband’s office, feeling like a hypocrite for being there and going through the motions. This only made the heat worse, for now I was alone and cut off from others who could help me return to God. I became easy pickings for Satan’s lies.

More despair.

My friend, may I share a secret? Don’t despise the heat. Don’t harden your heart when life is hard.

Instead, look at it as a God-given gift.

I cannot say why God is taking you through a hard time. In fact, I cannot tell for certain that this is God’s intention for me in my adoption. He can have a variety of reasons for the heat.

He might want to show you more of Himself. He might want to deepen your understanding of the Gospel. He might be teaching you how to rely on Him and not yourself. He might want to reveal pockets of blindness in your own heart.

If the heat reveals the heart, then would you open yourself to see what He might want to show you? And if the heart is the base from which fruit springs, wouldn’t it make sense to let Him change our hearts so that good fruit—and not bad—comes out of it?

A Word of Warning

With that said, I also wanted to pause and give one more caveat before we go on. With all this talk of examining our hearts as we respond to the heat, my goal is not to foster navel-gazing and introspection.

The goal is change. Specifically, change into the likeness of Jesus.

Change is not merely just having a better understanding of why you do what you do. Awareness alone is not change. But unless we are aware, we don’t know what needs to change in us.

So as we go through this series, keep that in mind.

Your Assignment

So today, we’re going to take a close look at what comes out when you are “squeezed” by the heat in your life. I want to encourage you to do so as objectively as you can.

Begin by praying with David in Psalm 139:23-24:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

Name your “thorns”—our unfruitful responses.

The “thorns” in the Three Trees Diagram represent those unfruitful—or downright rotten—responses to our heat. Take a look at these areas to understand how you try to handle the heat. What do you see in your responses through:

Your thoughts

Do you plan ways to retaliate? Compare? Grumble? Defend yourself? Marinate and stew on what is wrong? Catastrophize one moment so that it defines everything about you? Nurse a bitter heart? Complacency—I’m good where I’m at and don’t need to change.

Your words

Do you react at the slightest provocation? Spew out your resentment at those who anger you? Blame and accuse? Complain constantly? Criticize? Despair?

Your actions

Do you pretend things are okay when they aren’t? Numb the pain through innocuous but fruitless pursuits? Hide yourself from others to keep yourself safe? Withdraw love and goodness from others to punish them? Apathy towards change or complacency and laziness?

This is but a short list but the human heart can find many negative ways to respond to heat.

Be honest, but not self-condemning. That is not for you to judge. Trust me: it does you no good and actually hampers the movement towards change.

One Last Hope

Jesus’ words in Luke 6 do imply that there is the possibility of good fruit. So though we have been looking at negative fruit in this post, remember that those who are in Christ don’t have to remain here. In a future post, we will talk about how the heat can actually lead to good fruit.

However, if you still feel discouraged at how you have responded, I’m here to tell you that even in this humble revelation, God is for you. Even in this painful revelation, He loves you and is seeking your good, your transformation (Rom. 8:28-30). Nothing that has come up from this exercise will keep you from his love (Rom. 8:37-39).

Even if Satan tries to defeat us by bringing us down with our sins and failings, He will not stop loving you. In fact, if the Holy Spirit is convicting you in your responses, you can bank on His promise to forgive you (1 John 1:9). Confess your sin before Him and turn to Him. Let Him cleanse you and prepare you for the good fruit to come.

In Christ, even the bad fruit in our lives is meant to remind us of the gospel. All the things we have done are covered and forgiven by His blood. Cling to that, my friend.

And then join me next week as we take the next step to the change that we long for—the transformation into Christlikeness that we desire.