How to Do a Heart Check With God

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”—Matt. 7:3-5

While I have acknowledged the importance of this portion of Scripture, I have not always wanted to follow its counsel. Who wants to submit to the humbling ordeal of this painful procedure?

This may be particularly true for those of us who are in some position of influence. As a parent, Bible study leader, counselor, and a pastor’s wife, I am used to people looking up to me. This can tempt me to believe that I am stronger, better, or wiser than I really am.

This inflated view of myself always needs a heart check, lest I think of myself more highly than I ought (Rom. 12:3). I am not to judge others’ motives or character (Matt. 7:1-2), but I am to ask God to help me soberly judge myself.

Because God is my creator and knows everything about me, because He has numbered my days and goes with me wherever I go, because He sees my inner heart that I don’t even see, then He alone is the one I need to seek for insight into the planks that jut out from me.

Because these are 2x4s and not small specks, they can swing out and pack a punch at others. If I am not aware of them, my actions can really hurt, even unintentionally. If I am to love my neighbor well, then I will want to do all I can to prevent this from happening.

Again, as someone who exerts some degree of influence, even if it is mostly in the privacy of my own home with my children, this is important. It’s hard to help someone else when I have a plank blocking my vision. I cannot see clearly to even be of help!

Investing the time to regularly, if not daily, bring myself to the Lord is critical for all of us who desire to use our lives to influence others for the Lord. Here are some things I have found helpful:

Things to Pray About

1.Start by asking the Lord to open my eyes and shine light on the areas of darkness in me. These verses from Psalm 139 are a great place to start:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!...
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!—Psalm 139:1, 23, 24

2. Start with the “seen” things, as they are more obvious.

• Consider a troubling or difficult situation you’re in. What’s been hard for you? How are you tempted to respond? What patterns do you find yourself falling into? How are you turning to God—or what other sources are you turning to besides God?

• Consider your relationships. Ask God to help you evaluate their health. Are there some that are suffering neglect? Why? Are there some that could use improvement? Where? Are there some where you are harboring bitterness or resentment? Or do you sense that others are haboring that against you? Why might that be? Will you need to talk with them to find out?

• Consider your behaviors and actions. Are there things that need some cleaning up? Are there areas of character issues that have wandered away from Christ? What might be behind those behaviors? Are there hidden motives and desires that are hard to see?

3. Move to the hidden layers of motivations, intentions and desires that might be invisible to you but clear to the Lord.

• Ask Him to reveal what propels your emotions, actions and attitudes. This leads us to the second type of evaluation—our relationship with God:

• If it is true that “out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks (Luke 6:45),” how do my outward situations, relationships, and behaviors reflect my heart before God? Are there some parallels?

• Have I believed a false message about God, myself or others that I am building my life around?

• Is there a legitimate desire or need that has gone beyond healthy bounds? Has my desire or preference became a demand, expectation or entitlement?

• Is there an evil or sinful desire that I have masqueraded, excused, hidden, explained away with good?

• What do I want for myself that I am willing to sin to get—either by doing evil or withholding good?

My Story:

Recently, I noticed I was dropping a lot of balls. As they were happening more often than I liked, I wondered if this seemingly ordinary and normal occurrence had other roots behind it.

Not only that, I was noticing impatience, frustration, and nasty responses when others would ask me for the things I had forgotten. I didn’t like it.

We had just gotten back from vacation, so I was reorienting back to normal life, so that made sense. Teaching commitments plus unexpected meetings added to the stress. In response I worked later and slept less.

Because I sensed that it was more than just forgetfulness or stress, I made some time during my Sabbath to spend time with the Lord. Using the same questions above, I started by making some observations about myself.

It took a while, but during this time, God probed down to reveal (and not for the first time) a drivenness in my heart to perform and produce. What was I really after? It wasn’t just getting things done responsibly or on time. There was more.

From my own experience, when God surfaces something, it isn’t something new. It’s usually an old issue redressed in new clothes. The situation is different but the heart is the same.

For me, it was the tendency to control my life. I run a tight ship at home and in life and when I feel like it’s slipping out of control, I react.

Now don’t get me wrong. Being organized is not a bad thing. I’m not going to stop working on goals, habits, and routines!

But what God pointed out was this—I had slowly and imperceptibly started taking the reins from Him. What started out as a good thing was slowly slipping into something not so healthy.

More importantly, He pointed out to me that I was doing this not so that He would get the glory but I would.

Ouch.

That also explained why I was getting impatient with others. They were either tools for my own ends or obstacles in my way.

Which leads me to the final step in this process.

4. When God reveals your heart, respond. Not only do we want to see what’s going on, let’s ask God to “lead me in the way everlasting!”

• First, seek God’s forgiveness. I needed to do business with God. I pinpointed the ways I was really trying to serve and elevate myself. Following this, I responded in confession, acknowledging my outwardly good things had an inwardly ungodly motive. I renewed my commitment to honoring Him in what I did.

• Second, repent. I needed to consider how I might change how I live. Why would I want to keep repeating it if it doesn’t honor the Lord?

• Third, be specific in the details. For me, I realized I couldn’t just drop things I have already committed to, but I don’t need to add more. I can modify what I was doing, drop my standards, do my best but not aim for perfection.

So I went through each of my upcoming responsibilities and made some decisions on how to relinquish control and rest not in my performance but on pleasing God instead. I recommitted to some disciplines that fell by the wayside to strengthen my connection with Him.

It is easy to go off track. We all do it. And as leaders and influencers in our space, even if it’s just as a parent, we need to take the time to regularly bring ourselves before the Lord. I definitely need it.

I hope this helps you to do likewise. Instead of viewing it as a necessary but unpleasant task, view it as a way to grow in your fellowship with our loving Father. You’ll be glad you did.