From Self-Care to Stewardship
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.—John 12:24-25
Just this past week, I listened to a summit where self-care was mentioned quite often.
To be honest, I felt a bit uncomfortable about their recommendations. Maybe it is because it strikes me as self-centered and self-indulgent, though proponents insist that it isn’t.
As believers, we know we are to lay down our lives for others (John 15:13). So self-care just sounds a bit like the opposite. How do we reconcile this?
Apparently, I am not alone. Wheaton professor of psychology, Sally Schwer Canning thinks likewise. In her article, “Out of Balance: Why I Hesitate to Practice and Teach ‘Self-Care,’” published in the Journal for Psychology and Christianity (Vol. 30, No. 1), she writes, "I do not aspire to caring for myself so much as being a faithful follower of Jesus Christ." She continues, "Seeing my life as God's, rather than my own, guides me toward humility, gratitude and worshipful service and away from self-centeredness or striving."
Yet at the same time, I also realize (especially as I age!) that I have limits. As a parent, counselor, and teacher—all roles that require putting others before myself—I will hit a wall eventually if I don’t stop to care for myself. (Don’t ask me how I know.)
Though not an ultimate answer, Canning’s article provided three intriguing metaphors for self-care (I’ll focus on just one in this article) that is starting to help me shift my attitude. I hope they help you too.
A New Metaphor: Stewardship
This metaphor is rooted in the truth that our lives are not our own, for we have been bought with a price (1 Cor. 6:19b-20). I am not the “master of my fate” or the “captain of my soul” as William Ernest Henley proclaims.
Understanding that I am a steward of God, given resources to manage (Matt. 25:14-30)—my body being one of them—reminds me that He will one day call me to account for how I lived.
As I thought about it, when I fail to care physically for myself, I have bought into the false belief that I am limitless. And under that is the sinful attitude of pride. When I run myself into the ground without sleep or eat junk food with empty calories and think I can get away with it, I somehow think I’m above the rest of humankind.
I think we often take better care of our vehicles than we do ourselves. We take time to put gas in the tank and rotate our tires and even give it a wash. These things help keep them usable for a long time to come.
Likewise, doing the same for our bodies helps us to run the race the Lord has set for us. Though this is a paradox, as Canning notes, we care for ourselves so that we are more available to care for others.
This applies not only to physical care but even more so to spiritual care. Even if we care for ourselves physically, some of us live on a starvation diet spiritually.
When we’re busy, steeping our minds in God’s Word and taking time to dedicate our day to Him in prayer, we are like the branches that are cut off from the vine (John 15:4-6). Jesus makes it clear that we are of no use, no matter how many good things we do, something I learned the hard way. When left to my own, I devise plans that look successful in the world’s eyes but fail to contribute to God’s Story.
I think it’s one thing to lay down your life for another as a gift of service, but there’s a difference between that and a life run on a treadmill. When we neglect our relationship with God in the name of serving Him and others, we are deceiving ourselves. How can we represent Him as His ambassadors when we are not receiving counsel and instruction from Him?
Each of us who seeks to run the marathon of faith needs to make time for self-care stewardship. This might look different for each of us. While these things that have helped me, you might have others:
Invest my first moments in time with God—orientation, direction. This is part of my routine that grounds and connects me with Him before I tackle the rest of my day
Prayer cards—based on Paul Miller’s method outlined in his book, A Praying Life. This has helped me to pray consistently, broadly, as well as specifically and deeply for the things that concern me most
Extended times with God—taking personal retreats on my days of rest to do a heart check with God as well as to plan more intentionally
Reviewing God’s story and evaluating my direction and priorities
Prioritizing physical care, particularly in diet, sleep/rest, and health checkups
Taking sabbaticals from activities for one season
Creating morning and evening routines that ease my into and out of the day
Making time weekly for people: this reminds me that I am not a lone ranger and keeps me humbly connected to others for accountability, counsel, and support
Prioritizing rest over tasks instead of doing poor work because I’m tired. If I am too tired to think properly, I go to bed to get the rest I need so I can think well and try again
Give myself margin in the day, week or project so I’m not procrastinating and creating circumstances where I have to stay up late to finish things
Saying “no” to things that do not fit God’s Story or my role in it
Protecting myself from ungodly standards and influence
What things will help you steward your life for the glory of God? How can they help you keep running the race faithfully?
