Aiming for the Heart
“Yet even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.”—Joel 2:12
In the past few posts, we’ve hit a few main points:
Our hearts are the focus of change, not our external behaviors or actions.
The heat in our lives—the hard times but also the good blessings—squeeze our hearts
The fruit of this “squeezing” will depend on what is in our hearts.
Because our hearts are the spiritual, unseen part of us, the heat plays an important role in revealing to us what is underneath the surface. In the hands of God, this can be a good thing. Through the Gospel, our eyes are made aware of our sin, but sometimes we are still blind to the particular ways we are guilty.
It’s one thing to know that you need Jesus to save you.
It’s another thing to know is in your heart that you need saving from.
That was the case for me. I knew in general that I was a sinner, but to be honest, I thought I was a pretty good person. I served the Lord faithfully and saw much fruit.
But it took the heat of our adoption to reveal to me the true nature of my heart. I was definitely not a “good girl.” And the only way I could discover this is through my hardships with our daughter.
On this side of heaven, we have been given a new nature, and that is what restores fellowship with God.
But sanctification, the process of actually becoming who we really are, our truest identity as a child of God, will take a lifetime. Little by little, God sands off the rough patches of immaturity, refines and purifies us from the sin that remains, and in so doing, makes us like Jesus. It isn’t always a pleasant process, but in His wise and loving hands, He will complete the process (Phil. 1:6).
For our part, while we cannot change ourselves, we are by no means passive. One of the key parts we can play is to humbly bring ourselves to him and allow Him to reveal our sin to us.
Now that He has removed the blindness of our old nature, we can invite Him to shine His light on us. Let HIm show you the hidden nooks and crannies that are still remnants of our old selves.
In Luke 6:44, Jesus tells us that “each tree is known by its own fruit.” Observing what kind of “fruit” comes out when our hearts are squeezed is the first part. Tracing the fruit to the source is the second part, which we’ll focus on in this post.
So before you begin this next section:
Identify the “heat” in your life—situations, people, suffering, sin. What “pushes your buttons” and sets off an ungodly response?
Identify the “fruit” that is revealed from the heat. What thoughts run through your mind? What words pop out of your mouth (or don’t)? What emotional responses emerge?
Take a moment to pray and ask the Lord to shine His light on your heart to help you see the root of sin that is connected to it
Tracing the Rotten Fruit to the Evil Root
This process is one that, admittedly, may not “feel” all that great. After all, who likes having their sin revealed?
And yet, if we desire to see real change—from the inside out—we must submit ourselves to the Great Physician’s knife.
Because fruits and roots are connected, we need to learn to connect the two. Here’s how we can get started:
Pay attention to what you are thinking.
One sign of a faulty root is in our thinking. Pay attention to the thoughts that go on in your head when the heat strikes you.
That’s not fair.
If only he/she wouldn’t ____________________, then I’d be happy.
Maybe if I do ____________________, it would solve the problem.
These are subtle but can provide big clues on what you may be at the root of your heart.
Ask yourself what is ruling your thoughts in this moment.
At any given time, we are ruled either by a heart that worships God or a heart that worships self. There is no in-between. As David Powlison puts it, what has “hijacked” your heart and replaced God with another false god or idol? What other love have we replaced Him with?
Think of it this way:
A desire to please other people because you fear what they will think of you is replacing God with other humans. Their approval is more important to you than God’s acceptance of you. You crave that more than you rest in His generous love.
A penchant for perfectionism can be viewed as replacing God with your own efforts as the source of your identity. You drive yourself to be perfect because you cannot bear to fail. Sometimes this drive for perfectionism can be placed on other people—husband, children, team—because their success becomes yours. This drive has replaced God as your truest source of identity.
A reliance on money and what it can buy can replace God as your sole provider. You can forget that He is the One who feeds the birds of the air and clothes the lilies of the field. Therefore you labor hard to work long hours so you can get the promotion or you skimp and hoard to build up your savings.
An insistence on comfort can be the root of your impatience when others interrupt you. It may be behind the blowups when you come home and dinner is not ready. It might show up as throwing others to the curb so you get the “me time” you think you deserve. Your needs (though they may be legitimate) become ultimate, ruling you as your focus of attention.
The idolatry of a hurt- or pain-free life can be expressed through binge-watching TV shows to drown out the pain of your own, excessive drinking to numb the pain, or the use of illicit drugs to escape from reality. Instead of turning to God for your relief and comfort in your suffering, you have substituted other means to escape the hardship of life.
A desire for justice can overtake our trust in God to avenge. Even if we do not plot revenge but simply harbor bitterness in our hearts or seek to punish by withholding love from the offender, we betray our loyalty to God by seeking to take matters in our own hands.
These are but a few examples of how faith and trust in God is replaced by another idol, be it material or physical things (like health, appearance, hobbies), relational (like a desire for marriage, children, or friends), or immaterial (like control, respect, or self-sufficiency).
For each of your “rotten fruits” ask yourself: When I think _________ or say _________ or do __________,
What am I really loving most in this moment?
What am I really afraid of in this moment?
What am I really believing in this moment?
What am I really trusting in this moment?
Articulate the connection between the rotten fruit and the root in relation to your worship (or misplaced worship) of God.
To help you put the heat and the heart, the root and the fruit together, insert your discoveries in the statement below:
When (heat happens) and I (ungodly response or “rotten fruit” ) instead of (godly response or “good fruit”), what I really am desiring/trusting/afraid of/loving is (root) instead of God.
For example:
When my teen is surly towards me and I speak sarcastically in kind instead of bearing with him or seeking to understand what is bothering him, what I really am desiring is to put him in his place so that I can have the respect I think I deserve.
When the stresses of life pile up and I ignore it all and binge-watch shows all weekend instead of asking for God’s help, what I really am trusting is that escaping into an alternate world is better than trusting Him with my burdens.
When I am afraid because the pathology report comes back with discouraging news and I lay awake all night or fret all day instead of turning to God in prayer for help and comfort, what I really am believing is that He is unable to help me or that the more I worry the less disappointed I will be with more hard news.
This is what has been most helpful to me—being able to tie these together. When I begin to see how the heat squeezes out what I really believe and trust and love, I no longer focus merely on fixing things with outward behaviors, new habits or positive thoughts.
Sure, those may be a part of the process. But they become a means to a greater end, not the end itself.
This isn’t easy to see, so again, if you have trouble, ask the Spirit for guidance to understand the intricacies of your heart. Asking a trusted friend to help you process this can also be a good way to put the pieces together.
But What If I Haven’t Done Anything Wrong?
When we are clearly doing something sinful, either by committing a sinful act or withholding a loving one or failing to trust God and His promises, the connections may be easier to make.
But what if your heat is being on the receiving end of someone else’s sin? Or maybe your heat is, through no fault of your own, simply the hardship of life here on earth? Or maybe the heat can even be something good, like the blessing of a new child, or the acceptance of a promotion?
Remember, the heat is not always about our own sin. It could be suffering or even blessing.
In this case, take a look at what you might be tempted to do.
When you are poorly treated, it may be tempting to respond in kind or withdraw love or you may feel the license to punish them, as if two wrongs make things right.
When you are suffering from a chronic illness, you may be tempted to use it to excuse laziness, faithlessness, or anger.
When you are blessed with something good, the temptation may be to forget God and center your focus all around your blessing.
Even if you are not actively sinning, we need to be aware that our hearts are always going to be affected in some way. Is your suffering or blessing turning your heart towards God or away from Him? Your response can also give you a glimpse into the hidden parts of your heart.
The Ultimate End
God’s desire for us as we undergo heat—whatever kind—is not to merely be more self-aware of our heart issues or unearthing our idols. It is not just to notice our temptations and tendencies. It isn’t even about going on an “idol hunt” and rooting out all that is evil in us.
His goal, as David Powlison says in his devotional, Take Heart, is for us “to embody love by taking to heart the troubles and struggles of others. He does it by first taking to heart your troubles and struggles.”
His goal is the two great commandments that Jesus highlights in Matthew 22:37-40: ““You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
We want to know what is in our hearts because in understanding our failure to love, trust, and worship God, we will purify our faith and also be equipped to love others better. We want to know our hearts so we can return to the Lord with our whole hearts (Joel 2:12, above). His goal is love: loving God supremely and loving others sacrificially.
This is what Christ lived. This is where He is aiming. That’s His end and His goal.
Let us aim for the heart, that we might grow one that reflects Christ.
