Two Are Better Than One
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.”—Ecclesiastes 4:9
Two years after my adoption, I was a Big. Huge. Mess. Every dimension of my life was affected.
It was in this season that my oldest child was a senior in high school. She was struggling too, and in the course of conversation, I found myself volunteering to help lead a study for her and her friends as they prepared to graduate. I felt guilty for neglecting her, and I wondered what I could possibly offer her in my depressed state, but I went ahead with it anyway.
As it turned out however, it ended up being one of God’s gracious gifts towards my journey out of that pit of despair. With this group of high school girls and their mothers, God began to revive my grieving heart and bring hope once again.
Every week, as we read, discussed, shared, and prayed, I found myself—even as the facilitator—being transformed. When the group ended, I found myself wanting to do it again.
And so I did—again and again and again—since then. Even when the lockdowns of COVID began throughout 2020 and the uncertainties of 2021.
The Reading Secret
I’ve always been a reader, but it wasn’t until recent years that I have rediscovered this love. Part of my frustration with reading books was: 1) it was good while it lasted, but 2) when I finished I did nothing with it. Perhaps you can relate. Worse, I would buy a book for its premise but not even crack it open, much less digest its contents.
You too?
Since that spring back in 2014 when I began my community reading journey, however, I think I discovered the secret to reading that changes your life:
Reading in community.
To put it more specifically:
God’s Truth + Community—> Transformation
God’s Truth
Now I’ll be up front and admit that reading books is no substitute for reading the Bible. If you’re not reading your Bible for application, establish that habit first.
But if I’m honest, I sometimes struggle with applying the Bible in my particulars—and that’s where reading helps connect the dots.
When I read, it’s like being mentored by someone older and wiser, someone who has walked that path before me. They are human just like me.
Every time I pick up a book, it is a means of God’s grace to me, helping me to understand one way to live out my life to glorify Him. Not only that, I was able to learn to avoid pitfalls they experienced so I don’t have to discover them the hard way.
This does require discernment. Not every author is worth listening to. But if my heart is being trained by my own Bible study, the Holy Spirit helps me to recognize more clearly those who can help me from those who won’t.
Community
I am such a lone ranger. It takes time to work with others, so I tend to do things myself.
But when I read in community several benefits emerged:
Focus—there is far too much in a book to remember. Reading to discuss forced me to lock in on one idea and develop it in my life.
Clarity—talking about books forced me to articulate that idea to another person so they understand
Accountability—sharing what I learned boosted my application. Now that I’ve said it, my desire for integrity challenged me to put what I learned into practice.
Transformation
For me, I think it is this accountability that has both spurred and sharpened me to growth. Each time I read a book with others, I was immersing myself in an intensive period of discipleship on that particular book’s focus. I saw my understanding of God and the Christian life grow in leaps and bounds.
As we read and discussed together, God began to enlarge my shrunken and self-absorbed heart. I began to realize that I was not alone in my suffering. The book gave us a safe way to approach painful topics and opened up conversations as we sat together and were mentored by the wise men and women who likewise shared their lives and struggles with us. Our joint experiences over a book provided a common language to help one another as we run (or sometimes hobble!) towards Christ.
So if you’re in a rut in this season of your life, consider grabbing a good book and a friend or two and start reading together. The common language and community you develop may be just what you need to take another step of faith.
